Ok let's rewind four or five years back. I'm headed out on a Bumble date to meet this guy at Johnny Brenda's. I arrive a casual let's say ten minutes late and find my date finishing up a beer at the bar. At first, I did not realize who I was there to meet, because no one fit the pictures from his profile. He recognized me and waved me over.
First small red flag - his hair was gray and not the brown hair as pictured in his profile.
Second, larger red flag - He is paying his tab in quarters; yes quarters only... he is stacking, then lining them up in fours and paying his bill.
At this point, I need a little liquid courage...
I am hoping this will get better since I'm beating myself up that I've been totally played by his photos and coin collection! Not only did his hair throw me, he was a good ten years older than his photos depicted. I considered walking, but I'm locked in and too nice to bail. I pay the next round and we go across the street to a BBQ place.
The night progresses with decent conversation, and he asks me to join him for one more drink at the German Beer Garden next door. We head to the bar and he says, "Excuse me."
I thought he was being polite about something I must have missed and decide not to ask. We grab our drinks and sit across from one another at a picnic table. Again, he says "Excuse Me".
At this point I reply, "I'm sorry, why do you keep saying, Excuse Me?".
He responds with, "I'm sorry, I have a bit of flatulence issue"... and at that exact moment, he raises his right butt cheek, leans a bit and rips a huge FART!!! I kid you not, as I inhale his gas cloud, I'm at a loss for words and I excuse myself as the last and final red flag I care to witness is waving behind me.
I panic on what to do next?! I return to the table and confess, that as a nurse, I'm not usually offended by such things but it was time to call it a night... None of this phased him and he asked if I would like to share an Uber?! I have never run so fast or crossed a dangerous intersection like I did that evening. I learned a lot of lessons on that date. Most importantly, I stopped worrying about ending a date early, because things can actually get worse!
Epilogue: Kristen and her current boyfriend matched on Bumble. They are very happy and they just moved in together!
Like many of you, I have been on and off dating apps for years. I often think my insane dating experiences and those of my friends would make for a really great book, movie or sitcom. I know you all have stories and experiences to share. My goal is to post my own ideas, thoughts and experiences mixed in with special guest entries covering topics I know less about. Please feel free to message me with your own stories, comments, questions that you would not mind sharing with everyone. My contact info is listed in the bottom of the site. Thank you for stopping by!